After graduating high school, many couples have to face the rough decision about the future of the relationship. Whether one of the two is still in high school or both are going to separate colleges, choosing how (or if) to continue is not at all easy.
For most couples, this means entering a long-distance relationship. Going from seeing each other daily to as rarely as once a month is not at all easy, and it’s no surprise that nearly every long-distance relationship eventually ends by the end of freshman year. It takes a lot of work, and your relationship might not be up for it.
Talk as a couple.
Don’t make a decision on your own about whether or not to break up. Be responsible and fair to your boyfriend/girlfriend — include him/her. The best way to reach a decision about your future as a couple is to talk as a couple. Discuss how you both feel about possibly becoming a long-distance relationship and what potential you think your relationship has. Don’t assume that the other person feels the same way you do.
This guide will give you a few things to think about and bear in mind as you talk, but you should not make a decision on your own.
How do you feel?
First off, you need to decide how you feel about a long-distance relationship. To do so, you need to evaluate your relationship:
- Could this relationship have a future? Is this relationship something you really want to fight for? Do you value your boyfriend/girlfriend enough to do all you can to keep it going? Can you see yourselves together in the future, or has this relationship just been temporary? If you don’t feel strongly towards the relationship or that it has any future, that’s an important sign. How long you’ve been going out definitely makes a difference here — a three year relationship will be stronger than a two month relationship. My buddy’s girlfriend dropped out from the high school last year, she took the evening GED classes but he stayed at school. They were together just 7 months, tit was not even long distance relationship but they broke up just 2 months after she started her GED courses.
- How long will we be a distance relationship? Will you two only be apart for a year? Two years? Four years? While still tough, being apart your first year of college is drastically different from being apart all four. Remember that plans can change. Even if you two think you’ll be together the next year, there’s a strong chance that just won’t happen.
- Will this relationship hold me back? The “college experience” is definitely real, though just what it is will vary from person to person. You need to decide what you expect from college, and if can you still achieve that with your current relationship. Will your boyfriend/girlfriend limit you from your dreams?
- Am I up for this? Distance relationships aren’t for everyone. Are you up for the emotional wear and tear that one will put you through? The next section talks about traits that can cause trouble. How many of these do you have?
- How often will we see each other? Distance plays the biggest part here. Living twenty minutes apart and living ten hours apart make a huge difference. Can you handle how infrequently you’ll actually be together?